Psychopath Free (Expanded Edition): Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People

I began working in branch sales for a Fortune 500 company in 2002 and met our division VP in 2003. He brought me on the National Account team and constantly flattered me and my sales performance. It worked. I sold $4 million dollars in new business when the company only projected a $1 million in new growth. I attributed my success to his being a "good boss" rather than my 14-hour work days. Then he promised me a promotion if I moved to our corporate headquarters in Memphis. I moved and soon after he told me he was in love with me, his wife was horrible to him and he couldn't work with me if I didn't return his feelings. What do you do when you're young, naive and your mentor and hero says this to you? If you're an empathetic person like me you try to save them because you think they saved you by giving you a career (what college graduate doesn't want to show their parents that?). Our (fake) love story lasted 10 years and it didn't end in the happy marriage and home life he promised, it ended with him draining me of all my money due to his alleged $150K debt from ID theft, abandoning me with his sick mother in Boston for a VP job in Torrance and beach front apartment in Palos Verdes and then he told police I stole money from his mother when she gave me money as her caregiver to buy her food and medicine and pay her bills while he was away. How did I feel after he destroyed my life? Not angry. Instead, I felt dazed or blamed myself. Why did he have me arrested when he dumped his responsibilities on me and I was only trying to help? What did I do wrong to make him stop loving me? How could he want sex on Friday (fortunately I was too tired after spending two months on renovations he ordered on his mother's house while he was away), dump me on Saturday (an hour after the final walk through with the contractors), scream at me on Sunday he's going to see to it I rot in prison for larceny, and then have me arrested on Monday, catch a plane back to CA for work, tell my crying mother he doesn't have to listen to her sh*t and that night goes on Facebook and likes football photos of my nephews on my brother's page? Furthermore, since my parents foiled his plans to see me rot in prison, he got a restraining order against me so I can't collect my pets, furniture, clothes and personal property for 6 months. Because the judge issued a no contact order with his mother, he left my little dogs with her so I can't call her to ask how they are doing or arrange a pick-up. I am amazed how well he knows how to use the law to continue to hurt me. I never knew justice could be perverted. That's what the soulless do. Fortunately, my parents got me out of jail after 17 days (I've only been before a judge for a speeding ticket so that should tell how good of a storyteller these psychopaths are) and took their suicidal daughter (who suffered a miscarriage her 3rd day in jail) home and immediately got me into counseling. I cried everyday for 3 months and when I broke down and called him he yelled at me how I ruined his life because he has to quit his job and go back to Boston to take care of his mother. That was it. I was a non-person to him. I couldn't understand how this was the same man who love bombed me in 2003 and told me for years he would hunt me down and kill me if I ever left him. I couldn't believe this was the real him. Through therapy I came to understand words like narcissist, sociopath and psychopath. I didn't want to believe he was one but then again the behaviors they engage in was like checklist on our relationship. I couldn't ignore the obvious. It was time to get educated. So far this is my favorite book on the subject. It discusses the psychopath but it also discusses the good hearts of their targets and how what feels like weakness because love is used against the victim it is actually our greatest strength towards recovery and finding the real love we want and deserve. I had to see the ugliness to understand what (TF?!) happened to me but I needed hope too and I think this book offers that. I also recommend yoga as part of this healing process. I'm doing it everyday and yes, my body is as weak (he hated it when I went to the gym because he'd accuse me of flirting with other men so I stopped going to please him instead of seeing how he was erasing my ID) as my spirit feels but being patient with my body as it gets stronger teaches me to be patient with my spirit too. Self care is so important in the recovery stage. Many people who love me want me to hurry up and heal and move on because they hate seeing me hurt but what it does is make me feel guilty because I can't. What my body teaches me is strength takes practice and time and that makes me feel okay that the spirit does do. This whole process hurts like hell and you will be a mess afterwards but this book is like a friend who gets it and walks you through the process. I highly recommend it.

I received this book yesterday afternoon and started reading it until I reached the end. I literally could not put the book down and felt I was reading my own words. The author is obviously highly empathic and intuitive. With my own background in Criminal Law and Psychology, one can never prepare themselves when they are blindsided by these individuals. For me narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths are all the same people. They have no conscience, empathy or compassion and blame everyone else for anything that goes wrong. This book will help people to notice the signs before becoming involved with someone like this in any kind of relationship. I particularly like the "salad bowl" reference as it really resonated with me....especially looking all the way back to when we were dating. The Author, Peace is obviously speaking from their own once shattered heart and into recovering. I have read many books after being married to one for 28 years and fighting cancer at the same time with no money. He has moved on but left me 2 years ago in run down house, etc. 32 years drained by this emotional vampire that refuses to give me a divorce and has moved on with his life. Psychopath Free touched my heart as it was like reading my own story. For me, the people that write from experience are far more credible than the ones that have degrees with no experience with these toxic people. One could never understand unless they have been through it. I highly recommend this book as it isn't full of clinical terms we are already familiar with. It is a heartwarming hopeful guide to overcoming the damage that was done to us survivors. I love the honesty and heart of the writer and will be joining the website as well. It really does help to know that you are not alone and us survivors will always be connected in a unique way. I agree there is a silver lining to having been with this type of person and it is a life lesson that is unmatched by any other. Please do yourself a favor and pick up this book if you are struggling with any relationship with one of these kinds of people. My son is now reading it because it is his father that walked away and it will help him as well! My sincerest thanks to Peace for writing this for other survivors and for having a safe place to go. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

WOW! I don't know from where to start. I am shaken by this book. My tears can't stop coming down my cheeks. One second you'd be in your bed dreaming, and another second you wake up, open your eyes, to realize that it was only a dream. That's how I felt with every word I read in this book. What mesmerized me the most, other than finding all the truths about the psychopath I was with, is the ability for the author which I truly thank and respect from the bottom of my heart, to be able to not only get into the core of a psychopath(in relationships), but to also write about it in a very well written, and organized way as if they were there with me, to witness the psychopath do what they do best. I lived every word in this book. Every word that's been said happened with me. Everything said about what a psychopath does, is everything they did to me. Everything in this book confirmed my doubts, and explained the sleepless nights, the pain, the tears, the heaviness in my lungs with every breath I took, the feeling of something is stuck down my throat, the knife feelings I used to feel in my heart and soul, and the amount of anxiety that I'd feel in my veins. All caused by a psychopath that had no mercy. I never wanted to believe that I'm being lied to, by the purest person in the word. I ignored all the voices in my head, I ignored my instincts, my intuitions. I was brainwashed, gaslighted, manipulated, and played with. And I wonder, what else in this world that happen to us all the time, throughout our everyday lives, that we really have no acknowledgment of. But only if you did. Only if there was a book for every problem we encounter in our lives, how many truths will we find. How many eye openings will we have. This book just goes to show, that no matter what we face in life, no matter how much pain and blindness they might cause us, there will always be a reason why it happened, a cause, and a solution. The truth will reveal itself only if you search for it, only if we look for answers. As with my previous psychopathic relationship, I would of never imagined in a million years that I would be able to come close to figure what just happened to me, no matter what the world have to offer me in terms of any kind of help. That's what I thought. But this book, came with all the answers I hoped one day to get to. I'm truly thankful, and blessed to have read such a book. With all what I've learned and discovered, this will stay with me forever. Even if you have never been in a relationship with a psychopath, this book will give you an eye opening on what you'd expect from one. Do yourself a favor and read this book. Protect yourself. Although sometimes finding the truth is harsh and overwhelming, but it's worth it. Always read about what interests you, about problems you face, about the field your in. You'll have all the knowledge in the world, to get to most if not all the answers and truths you have been searching for. If you every meet a psychopath, just turn around and run as fast as you can, and never look back. Do not try to fix them, or try to help, they will never change! Ever! No matter what! Always go with your gut feelings! Have faith and trust in you're instincts, and intuitions!

I can truly say without hesitation that this book helped me resolve most - if not all - of the cognitive dissonance that I was STILL experiencing after two and a half YEARS of No Contact... in about 48 hours. I attained more closure (lol!) and insight from this book than from 2 years of intense therapy. Of everything I have ever read on this subject in an attempt to get past it and move forward, this is the last word. This book confirms for me the idea that until you have gone through this exact experience yourself, you cannot help or advise or really understand anyone who has. It is truly a "my life before and my life after" type of experience. Thank you Jackson for writing this book and for the website which was one of the best resources for dealing with the aftermath of a relationship with a toxic/disordered person. Your work is invaluable. Thank you. AN ABSOLUTE REVELATION. A MUST READ. P.S. I am going to comment on a few of the other reviews I read here as I feel there are possibly a few misconceptions. I noticed several people addressing the issue of the website being down. I stumbled across the site two plus years ago, in a completely random attempt to scour the internet for some nebulous answer to what I had just experienced. Blindly reaching for something.. anything to help me ease the pain and quiet my frantic yet relentless thoughts about the relationship. At that time the book was still in ebook form and if I remember correctly was on the brink of being published. The forums and threads were an absolute godsend. The Aha! moments Oprah refers to were washing over me in waves. In addition to the content there, there were links to resources that eventually led me to other immensely helpful sites. Kim Saeed at Let Me Reach and Love Fraud and Melanie Tonia Evans are in my opinion all particularly thorough, lucid and healing. I think that if you have ever really experienced a relationship with a disordered person you may be able to glean the answer as to why the forum portion of the site was taken down after the book was published. Disordered people are all on a spectrum like people with autism. Varying degrees of severity, if you will. Some are particularly dangerous and deranged. They can stalk a target and very often do after the relationship. Adding insult to injury seems a fitting metaphor. Perhaps the site being closed to the public was nothing more than a security and self-protection measure. Just a thought. One specific review was less than kind and although that individual has every right to his or her opinion I cannot even imagine using the term "whiny" to descibe this book. No survivor would ever belittle or minimize the story of another survivor. Yes, fellow reviewer, this experience is most definitely the same for everyone who has actually experienced it. Not every detail assuredly but the emotions, stages, symptoms, YES. Without question. I saw some part of my story in each and every story I have ever read or heard. Hundreds. I know you read the book, but I doubt that you actually had a run in with a psychopath. Enough said.

This book gives a less technical explanation of psychopathic disorders, and instead a more practical description of the results of a relationship with a psychopathic person. The author is very candid, and writes well, leaving his own personality visible on the pages. This makes the book very easy to read and understand. I can attest to the fact that the author has described the experience accurately, so much so, in fact, that we found ourselves wanting to share this book with people who had known us during our own individual prior relationships with psychopathic people. This book is best for at least two kinds of people. First, those who have gone through the difficult experience of having been in a relationship with a psychopathic person. It explains what happened to you very well, and can open your eyes and validate your thoughts about it. Second, for those who need to know about it - family members or friends who did not understand your behavior, someone who doesn't understand that these people exist (as we did not prior to our own encounters), and naysayers who pretend that they do not exist. The only shortfall, I believe, is the limited perspective of a non-marriage, short term, romantic relationship. I believe the author could really enhance this book's usefulness by spending a little more time exploring and relating how this relationship might look in various other circumstances. My wife and I were both separately married to psychopathic people previously, very long-term relationships involving children, family relations, family friends, etc. The children were impacted by having their own relationships with the psychopathic parent. The author touches on some of these ideas. But the reader is left to try to transcribe the short term romance ideas onto other forms of a serious psychopathic relationship. This makes following along a bit more difficult, and makes it a bit of a struggle to have to stop and work through how the concepts being described would apply to a much different situation. Still good overall, and we were able to gain a lot of insight. But we both felt that this could turn off some readers.

I've never written a review for Amazon before. This is the first time (and may very well be my last time). I'm writing this review because, point blank, this book changed my life. And adding to the stars here is the only way I can reach out to anyone else who's gone through the horrible, self degenerating experience of being with a psychopath. This book can heal you. It's the equivalent of some kind of a magic pill in written form. And it's written purely FOR the victim and about the victim. It's not about the sociopath. It's about what they did to you, and why you're not wrong. I can only compare reading this book to being six years old, and being held and loved by one of my parents. It's the kindest thing you can give to yourself. For me at least, every word in this book literally happened to me -- down to exact quotes. For years and years I've struggled to even ADMIT that the man I loved was a psychopath -- because I didn't want to believe it and because I'd been conditioned to think that everything was my fault. 5 pages into this book, I started to ball my eyes out. Not because I was missing the man that tortured me for years then ditched me like a piece of trash -- but because for the first time in 20 years I was able to fully believe that I was not to blame. I could see things from a perspective I never could see before, despite all the efforts of the people around me. I always thought everything was my fault and was gaslighted to the point that I thought I was just crazy. This book is a gift. It is the kindest gift you can ever give to yourself. No retribution, no therapy and no other person can replace the time spent alone, thinking, reading, and seeing everything you went through in black and white text.

I was raised by an overt narcissistic father, so have a history of narcissistic abuse. My first true “love” was a narcopath, who further shattered my faith in humanity. I’ve crossed paths with borderline, sociopathic and histrionic friends. Cluster b’s seem drawn to me like a magnet. At some point, I noticed the patterns and decided to choose differently. I had over a decade Psychopath Free. I was as happy and healthy as I’d ever been. It was a brief reprieve from the hellish nightmare of cluster b personality disorders. Then I crossed my first covert narcissist. I didn’t see that truck coming until I was smashed on the highway. Within a short time, I was in the hospital on suicide watch, the collective trauma of all past encounters with these types leaving me fighting for my life. Without the insight and hard work of other survivors like Jackson McKenzie, I likely wouldn’t have survived again. I had just enough knowledge from past encounters to recognize the true nature of my opponent, which I believe wholeheartedly was evil incarnate, the dark heart of the a Dark Triad of personality. With every new book validating my experience, I felt a little less “crazy” and self assured. “The Problem” was not, in fact me, but rather these sinister, covert abusers. I was able to slowly crawl my way out of the Pit of Despair and return to the world of the Light Triad, surrounded by the safe and empathic survivors of narcissistic abuse forums. I’m an INFJ, and it seems that we and INFPs like Jackson dominate these forums. These are our empaths and healers, a bright contrast to the darkness that I encountered. I want to remain in the light, never return to that darkness again. Each book read is another notch in my armor to protect me from the Dark Triad. Jackson McKenzie has a firm grasp on how they operate. He knows the “Narc Arts”, the games they play to entertain their twisted souls. His description of their methods, and the consequent emotional responses of empathic victims, was a mirror image of my own experiences with these predators. I’m *not* “crazy”. I am “over sensitive” and that’s a good and beautiful thing. It’s better to be an empath than a narcissist. Thank you Jackson for sharing your dance with these devils and touching other survivors like me. You are loved.

This is a great book for anyone who is in a relationship with someone who fits into one of the cluster B personality disorders; narcissist, borderline personality disorder, etc.. I pray that this book reaches everyone who needs it.

Recovery begins with nailing what your abuser is, especially when he is a psychopath and this book will help you see that, if indeed your abuser is one. Everything in this book is bang on. It will hurt in parts but it will name what you are dealing with, validate your experiences (when likely no one close to you personally can), and it will show you you had no chance against this twisted mind, so stop beating yourself up about where you went wrong. I became the victim of a psychopath in 2010. I was one of the ones who smelled a rather toxic rat and broke things off. Sure enough, 3 years and counting I am still being stalked, terrorised, harrassed, my car is vandalised (resulting in massive car crash through an electricity pylon which I am lucky to survive), my movements constantly monitored on and offline. Yes I agree with this book my stalker took turns to drive me to suicide or provoke/goad me to get back in touch with him (this wasn't because he wanted me to come back to him. He was setting me up as all psychopaths do. He was desperate to tell me he was married now and really really really happy. My psychopath is a callous sadistic stalker, voyeur, pervert and major criminal who enjoys his freedom when he should most certainly be in prison. He is a very dangerous man wrapped up in a bumbling english country gentleman persona, 'what me, why I couldn't even hurt a fly'. He will not only hurt a fly but you, your friends and even your children if it frightens you. His persona is drivel but it is a persona that fools a lot of people. I am paying a high price for sussing him out. This psychopath has done everything, just short of murdering me ( I hope I do not speak too prophetically) though he has goaded me to kill myself and as I say tampered with my car which many times could have resulted in my death. This book covers all of this. This is what psychopaths do and they don't just do it to you. If you are persecuted by them it's because you are stronger than them. In a way it's a compliment. They can't ever have the women they really want because the women they really want will always suss them out so they they have to settle and when they settle and feel entirely unsatisfied in their 'settled' relationship, they boil with anger inside and take it out on the women they couldn't have/keep. YOU! THIS BOOK IS ESSENTIAL READING to begin the process of stopping your mind going over and over and over and over again why it's your fault. What on earth did you do? You must have treated him very badly indeed. You must be a very bad person to attract such awfulness into your life. If only you knew what you had done so you could fix it. Read this book. Forget fixing a monster and concentrate on fixing yourself. Get some validation. No one else except other victims can give you that. So start by getting some from this book. You must firmly root in your mind that these people are inhuman. Inhuman. Completely and utterly inhuman to an extent you will find difficult to believe because you are so entirely human. I remember telling my psycho about a historical TV documentary I watched where scientists had performed cruel experiments on babies. The programme disturbed me and I described one of the dreadful experiments that was performed on a baby boy to my psycho stalker. Instead of being as disturbed as I was he laughed and began to act out how the baby must of looked during the experiment. My blood ran cold. I didn't understand back then what I was dealing with. I do now. A monster. If you are a victim of a psychopath take heart. Read this book over and over. Get some validation for your experiences. Be amazed at how precisely right it is in every way. And firmly root in your mind that they are inhuman. Stop endowing them with normal human qualities. They don't have any. This is what makes you better than them. No matter how it feels, no matter who they are, they are not better than you. Don't believe it when they stop at nothing to brainwash you into thinking that they are superior to you. They are not. They know they are not. That's why they have to work so hard convincing you you are worthless. TOXIC!!! Read this book. It might hurt a bit in parts, but in the end you'll just feel so validated when you do. Eventually you will stop thinking about them in ways that hurt you, you will start to get angry, then you will feel repulsed by them and then finally indifferent to them. I'm not entirely indifferent yet because i maintain a constant dialogue with the police because of the stalking but I am repulsed and certainly harbour not a shred of warm feeling for him, no matter how rosy it seemed at times in the past. Thank god. The bits about this book I suggest heeding most are the bits about looking after yourself. Treat yourself kindly. Look after yourself mentally, physically spiritually and really do apply the rules of no contact which are most vital. I wish I had had more strength during the worst times. This has without doubt been the worst period of my life and it has spoiled a substantial portion of my children's young life too. I don't know how I would have coped had I not found resources such as this book to illuminate the minds of these heinous people terrorists.

Livre intéressant donnant un aperçu des relations toxiques sans trop de complications. Il couvre la psychologie de base de la douleur émotionnelle et comment aller de l'avant.

I would highly recommend this book. It is easy to read and it is full of helpful information. It has helped me to understand what I am going through. It has crossed every T and dotted every i for explaining this type of emotional abuse. The book comes from the standpoint of a lover being a psychopath but I have found that it has helped me even though in my case it is a family member who is the psychopath. I have found it healing and comforting to get such validation for what I am going through. The abuse of these awful people is so underhanded sometimes we don't understand why we hurt so much. Great read!

Muy útil

Dieses ist die erste Rezension überhaupt,die ich schreibe. Dies ist die erste Rezension, die ich schreibe. Ich bin so begeistert von diesem Buch. Als von einer Missbrauchsbeziehung Betroffene, die sich verhältnismäßig früh lösen konnte, habe ich mir dieses Buch als Begleiter gekauft und es nicht bereut. Im Gegensatz zu deutschen Büchern, wird hier dem Opfer nicht geraten, sich selber zu hinterfragen, Das tun die Opfer solcher Beziehungen ja sowieso ständig. MacKenzie hat den ,wie ich finde,sehr sinnvollen Ansatz, verstehen zu wollen, wie der Missbraucher tickt um sich schützen zu können. Das ist ihm erstklassig gelungen. Sehr gut recherchiert aber einfühlsam wie ein Freund, begleitet er den Leser auf der schwierigen Reise der Ablösung vom Missbraucher. Mir selber ist es dadurch um einiges leichter geworden, den Kontakt zum Täter nicht mehr aufzunehmen. Und nun, nachdem ich das Buch ausgelesen und zugeklappt habe, fühle ich mich stark. Wenngleich auch ein wenig traurig, dass ich meinen Tröster verlassen muss. Zu dem Buch gibt es einen Selbsthilfeblog gleichen Namens. Auch das ist mir eine grosse Hilfe. Jemand, der eine solche Beziehung nicht durchgemacht hat, kann nicht nachempfinden, wie schwer es ist, sich davon zu lösen. Dass biochemische Vorgänge im Körper das Opfer abhängig vom Täter machen, weiss kaum jemand. Umso schwieriger für das Opfer, wenn es sich gutgemeinte Ratschläge,wie,:,"Trenne dich doch einfach", anhören muss. Jackson MacKenzie hat selbst so eine Beziehung durchgemacht und man merkt ihm an, dass er weiss,wie schwer die Ablösung ist. Aber, wie viele andere auch, weiss er, dass sie zu schaffen ist. Und, ich habe es am Anfang nicht für möglich gehalten, aber ich bin stärker als jemals zuvor und möchte die Erfahrung nicht missen. Ich weiss jetzt, wer ich bin und was ich wert bin. Thank You very much Jackson for writing this book. It helped me over my darkest days with compassion and love. I made this terrible experience with my abuser but now, Thanks to You, I raised like a Phoenix from the ashes and feel stronger than before. I now know, who I am and like You promised me, I know now that I deserve much,much better. You have been a friend when I needed one, even though I have never known You personally. Thank You for writing this book.