The Way I Used to Be

Good book - I enjoyed the book but the subject matter is not appropriate for some ages.

"The Way I Used to Be" by Amber Smith is a poignant and powerful exploration of trauma and recovery through the eyes of a young woman named Eden. After a devastating incident with her brother’s best friend shatters her sense of safety and identity, Eden's once straightforward life becomes a complex web of confusion, anger, and silence. As she grapples with the emotional fallout, she buries her pain and struggles to adapt to the changing landscape of her adolescence. Told across four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—Smith intricately weaves Eden's journey through the challenges of growing up, including the realities of first love, heartbreak, and the often tumultuous nature of friendship. While the narrative dives deep into the scars left by trauma, it also highlights Eden's resilience and the gradual realization of her own strength. As she learns to confront her past and embrace her survival, "The Way I Used to Be" serves as a powerful testament to the complexities of healing, making it an essential read for anyone seeking understanding and hope in the face of adversity.

Read this if you need a good cry, it is beautifully written. This book was the first time I ever read a book in less than one week.

I've read countless books, both for work and pleasure. After a while, the plots and characters start to run together, and the stories I'm reading now become no more memorable than the last. The Way I Used to Be is one of the few books that stand apart from the rest. The story follows Eden, a sexual assault survivor who just started high school. Her story is told in four parts, starting as a freshman dealing with the crushing pain of being hurt in the worst way by someone she trusted. We watch as she struggles to come to grips with what happened. I read this book when I was the same age as the main character, and my heart still hurts when I think back on that time. As a reader, I'm careful of books like this because they can leave me feeling drained and empty. I was both by the time I finished, but I also felt so much more. It's weird and rare for me to feel proud of a fictional character, but that's what I was. Eden was so well-written. She felt like a friend I'd known my whole life, or maybe even a part of myself, and when she hurt, I hurt. What happens to her and the aftermath of it was hard to read but so worth reading. As a woman, I've grown up on the cautionary tales of sexual abuse. Where to spot it, how to avoid it, what to do after. Most of my knowledge of sexual assault comes firsthand from friends and family who've experienced it. With this comes ingrained hyperawareness and the naive thought that, despite having never experienced it myself, I understood it. But nothing compares to being inside the head of someone who has lived it. There is so much more that goes on than I could've ever imagined. It was eye-opening and painful because so much of the aftermath is just silent suffering. I can't help but think back to the countless stories I've heard and wonder what parts my friends sugar-coated, or left out completely, for my benefit. It hurts to know that there is nothing I could do for the pain I couldn't see. Though I emphasized with Eden the most, I also felt for her friends and family, because I have played that role before, and I can only hope that I was there for them when they needed me. I think this is a book that everyone should read, if not for the chance to better understand the thought process and actions of a survivor, then for the simple pleasure of reading a well-written, heartwrenching story with a brave and resilient main character.

i love this book it broke me and i can never recover but it was a great book to read i finish it in under 24 hours its good

written from the viewpoint of a freshman to senior in high school, Eden’s experiences and how they change her into the kind of person she couldn’t ever imagine being; angry, lonely, pained, secretive, and not being able to tell anybody what happened to her, makes her want to be a hard, unfeeling, uncaring, hurtful person. As I read through this book I just wanted to hug Eden and yell her “it is okay to tell”. And the last line of the book is memorable and beautiful.

🌼 broken fmc 🚬 tragic events 🌼 self destruction 🚬 courageous decisions I don’t even know what to say. If you like being punched in the gut, then read this!! It was tragic and sickening, but so so good. Eden, my poor angel baby, I just want to reach into the pages and hug you and protect you!! Having to see one persons choice ruin someone’s life for the next 3+ years was sickening and seeing Eden self destruct hurt more than I could’ve imagined. She lost so much that day, but the ending gave me hope that maybe book 2 will be her putting herself back together. If I don’t see a happy Eden by the end of that, I’ll be devastated.

10/10 all around. Very beautifully written and told, gives people who have struggled with these things someone to relate too.

This book!! Oh my goodness it's fantastic. I got invested so fast and I couldn't stop reading it. I really love all the characters, especially Eden. I really love Josh too and I love them together. They support each other so deeply, they care about each other so much. I cried so many times while reading, I was afraid I was going to stain the book with my tears. And it was a library book. I cried even more when the book ended, I really wanted Eden and Josh to be together. So guess my reaction when I learned the second book is coming soon??? Feral. I can't wait to read that one so bad. I love this book so much, I had to buy my own copy. Can't wait to reread it again and cry myself to sleep.

i read this book almost a month ago and it's still on my mind! the way i used to be touched me in so many ways. to see Eden not only lose her relationships with her friends&family, bcs of what happend, but most importantly LOSE HERSELF just tore my heart out of my chest. to see the indistinct changes she went through that were such an subtle cry for help but that nobody near her noticed made me so angry and sad for her </3 she. deserved. better. it was honestly surreal how Josh noticed something was up WAY before anyone else did. i loved the fact he was the one she ended up confiding in. he was exactly what she needed in that moment. i just started sobbing when Eden said: "i had been waiting for thee years for somebody, anybody, to say those magic words" after Josh asked: "did something actually happen?": this girl just needed somebody to simply ask. but sadly it's never that simple. i'm honestly glad that in this book she and Josh didn't end up together. she's in need of a friend atm and i'm happy he's okay with being one and doesn't pressure or guilt trip her into something more. BUT nevertheless i'm super excited to see what ,the way i am now' has in store for the both of them!! i'm def rooting for them🩷 i would 100% recommend this book to everybody !!!! BUT !!!! look up trigger warnings pls

Broke me. So much. And I loved every single page

Muy buen libro, pero me hizo llorar mucho!!

Didn’t like the ending but I liked the emotional roller coaster this book gave me.